Change – it’s happens all the time all around us. I am that person who likes stability. Sameness routine coupled with moments of excited fun. But its inevitable.
I have lost a grandparent 2 days ago and I sit and go back to what my nani meant to me and it fills me with happiness.
My nani was not a favorite out of all my grandparents. She was a personality that took sometime to love and as a child I used to be scared of her. In fact she never showered me with the typical nani love. Her love was different, very practical and stoic. in the end i knew she loved me and had her ways to show it. In the last ten years I don’t remember having any kind of conversation with her. It felt like she had just given up. Every time I would visit her (in the past 10 years) she would stare blankly at me and towards the end she was not even able to recognize me. It broke my heart to see her living on her bed waiting for god to take her away, but selfishly somewhere deep down I still felt my nani was around. She was there and I was lucky that at 28 I still had a nani in my life.
When we got the news she passed my mom, maashi, mama were normal, they knew this news was coming because old age had eaten her up. She was suffering so much that a month back when I visited her I prayed to god to take her away. Yet it hit me. When she passed on Friday I was calm and then I was sad. I suddenly remembered the vacations to Delhi, the vikas kunj house, the food she made and the serials she watched. There was a time my nani watched each and every TV show balaji released and all I had to do was ask her what’s up with Tulsi and I got the entire story in 3 minutes.
My nana and nani were always around and a part of my life. Together they made a formidable couple. My nana was the sweetest cutest person to ever have in one’s life. He would take me as a kid to the nearby milk booth in Delhi and allow me to put the coin in the milk dispensing booth and see the joy on my face when the milk would gush out of a machine. Nana used to get me kismi toffee and as a habit every time he would step out of the house I would say “PUKI (I called him that.. started when i was 2) what chocolate are you going to get for me”
My nani was strong. A personality one would get scared from. Some of that scary persona about me comes from her I guess. Lol. she was a clear example of fighting the odds and making it work. she used to work at a time when women were not really working. she was a true fighter. my dida.
What they both signify to me every day is to see how well my mom, my maashi and my mama were brought up. At the end of the day every parent wants to see that their children are good human beings and they succeeded at that with flying colours.
As I bid a final farewell to my Nani and Nana (who passed a few years ago), I pray they are happy upstairs and always around guiding the family together.
Cheers to my puki and dida.